I have a guest

a guest blogger that is. you see, i have this uh... friend.. yeah that's it, a friend. let's call her... blue ryder...

don't be a stranger and enjoy..

The Ride of Your Life

Since I was a wee lass, I've never been one to sleep while travelling. From car to train rides, short flights to long, you'll find me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed from start to end.

But in the last month or so, on my many cab rides to and from work, I find myself strangely lulled by the whirrs and bumps of the engine. Even getting strangely aroused by the subtle vibrations. And I find myself trying to catch my breath or strangely relaxed and content at the end of the ride.

With this new trait, I've developed a phobia about jumping into a car with someone else (usually suits with whom I have to go to meetings)in case they catch me getting hot and bothered. And I worry about seeing a day when I might end up making an indecent proposal to my driver - not the 'droolsome' cabbies please. Oh no no no.

Needless to say, commute has been far more satisfying than ever. So maybe... just maybe, the car really is the extension of the penis.

Are you headed my way?

two.. no three things...

...i'd like to find someday... do they exist?

1. the perfect affordable red wine
best to date - grant burge cabernet. a wonderfully fruity and rich cab. it's under $15 but drinks like a $40 - $50 bottle. yum. i can't find it anywhere right now... i have one bottle of 1998 left.. gotta drink it soon. see number three.

2. the perfect power pop band
best to date - arlo. a now defunct cali band... if you like power pop and get a chance to pick up "stab the unstoppable here" DO IT!

3. the perfect lover
best to date - you know who you are.. far and above all the rest...
currently accepting applications.

an omen? naah. just more weirdness

ok i'm driving to trivia at this pretty cool bar called rira tonight and i come to a stop at a light in the city. i look over and i'm stopped next to a cop. she's sitting low in the seat and she looks to have her rather short hair pinned to her head like a second skin. she glances over at me with a look that goes right through me. that's nice, i think to myself, usually the women cops appear to be those ultra butch types. so anyway we're waiting for the light to change and this long dark haired attractive thin woman in tight black leather and heels is crossing in front of us. this is kinda nice scenery, i think to myself and halfway across she notices something on the road and bends to pick it up... i'm thinking to myself... what the freak could be so important that this chick is going to have to accomplish no small feat of near gymnastic skill, poise and balance to pick up what ever it is. all of this quickly goes out of my mind as she bends over and provides us with a "show" and now i'm thinking, hey honey, you might just be getting a little more than you bargained for here... the cop startles both me and her by putting on her flashing lights, you know the blue and red ones. the woman pick the object up, looks up, straightens up and goes along her way. the cop accelerates through the red light... i go on to win trivia.. our team got a weber bbq grill.. what's it all mean i ask you... what's it all mean?

dont be a stranger
brian

TWO posts today! wow a record

responding to boabhansith's book game
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

And they had Sister Suzie the Floozie. She's our latest professional SubGenius preacher and she's great, a very talented writer. She's an ex-stripper.

overheard today

between a woman and her (i'm guessing) 6 or so year old son at the food court in the mall.

woman - come on finish up we've got to get to the card store
kid - i dont wanna go to the card store
w - i didn't ask you if you wanted to go to the card store
k - do i get a toy
w - somebody died i have to buy a card
k - then i can get a toy?
w - (somewhat perturbed) don't you think that's a little self centered?
k - ?????
w - well???
k - (tentatively) so i get a toy?
w - (a little more than perturbed) no you don't get a toy. i need to find a card that says "i'm sorry your uncle died and that you're sad but he's living in heaven with God now having a good time"
k - ...

at this point i couldn't listen anymore because i might have gotten up and told the woman she was a moron. period.

btw... got my eyebrows waxed today... gosh am i good looking.

don't be a stranger
brian

monkey theft....

thought i'd mix it up for a change

micheal jackson calls 366 possible defence witnesses??? are there 366 people in the world that don't think he's a fruit loop? calling kobe bryant as a character witness??? are you fricken nuts?

true story. as i was heading back to work from lunch i see this guy walk out from between two parked cars right into the side of a van... which was moving. talk about dumb luck. emphasis on dumb.

katie you're a dunce. a van plunges 400 feet down a ravine feet off of a slushy road and you ask them if there was any screaming on the way down.... um.. helloooo... anyway, geez don't these people know about guard rails?

the kingdom of loathing a good place for some near mindless fun.. the chat is great too.

i knew this wasn't going to be that easy... but still my hat's off to monkey

damn i need one more funny thing.. think think think. frick.. there's no coffee in this house... that's it. i'm firing the cat. lazy bizzatch.

my appologies to the writers of all the great new blogs who's links i haven't put up yet. but i've got to get to my hair cut appointment... oh the pleasure and the pain

dont be a stranger
brian

fine. go ahead and laugh

Ok. i get my hair cut at this kinda cool place. i go there because the women are all hotties, most of them are quite funny, the price is fair, they are all hotties, they make me look good and they are all hotties. now this one chick usually cuts my hair is running late (I think that she was making a lunch run,) so the owner says "come on over bri and i'll get you started sammi will be back in a minute" whoo hoo... i'm being pampered. so she starts washing and razzing me as she always does (she once pulled up along side my car at a stop light, rolled down her window and yelled “hey! nice blue penis.” (i have a witness to this.)) i notice that one of the other chicks keeps looking at me as in "eye contact." then she walks by three or four times with the same thing going on. so obviously you know there are all sorts of guy thoughts running through my head while vanessa is chatting away washing my hair..
a side note.. i LOVE to have my head rubbed... back to the story.
so finally this chick stops and looks me full in the face... my heart skips and are you ready? here's the discourse

chick #1 – “have you ever had your eyebrows waxed?”
me in shock – “why no”
vanessa – “you know bri you need to get those puppies taken care of.. they are a bit out of control.. you're a good looking guy, but with nice eyebrows... i'd do you.”
me – “oh really, i thought you were attached.”
vanessa – “come on, all of the guys are doing it these days. It’s very metro. just let her do it. you won't be sorry. it doesn't hurt.”

Um… let's stop this right here.. any ladies reading this know that is a lie from the pit of hell... but innocent little me? not a clue.. on with the story

Me – well ok.
Chick #1 – “ok put your head back and relax” (this should have been the second warning sign) she applies warm wax between my browse.
Vanessa – watches intently
Me – “mmmmmm”
Chick #1 – applies cloth thing to wax
Me – “that feels really go…”
Chick #1 – pulls cloth in one quick maneuver seemingly ripping the entirety of my forehead from my face
Me – “Shhhhhhhhhhhiii - OOOOOWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
Vanessa – laughing “oh come on don’t be a pussy.”
Me- “holy crap that hurt”
Chick #1 – “awww. it’s not that bad. I get a bikini wax done all the time, can you imagine me at the beach with out one?”
Me - …
Chick #1 – “well?”
Me – “let me tell you that there have not been very many times in my life that I have been speechless but you well…”
Chick #1 – giggles and proceeds to do the tops and bottoms.
Me – “so Vanessa..”
Vanessa – “go sit in sammi’s chair.”
Me - “dang”

what's the point of this?
it doesn't have one...
just go ahead and laugh. but do leave comments!

don't be a stranger

innocent bystander? you be the judge

why is it those people who have nothing at all to say but feel an undeniable urge to spew words from their upper orifices they pick me as a victim? i don't want to be an axe.. i don't want to be impolite.. i do like like communicating with people who are interesting and sure.. ok i know i can be long winded at times and take a side road to get to a point or finish a story but i think i'm interesting.. please tell me i'm not one of those people...

- look man that eye contact was purely accidental not a solicitation for you to enlighten me with dissertations of everything behind why chemical sales are off this year, does my eyes glazing over and you hearing me say "uh-huh uh-huh" every once in a while even remotely sound like i'm feigning interest?

- hey, i was sitting here relaxing, it wasn't an invitation for you to come over and tell me how mitsubishi is in trouble because you think they make crappy cars and they haven't had more than one successful model.. i don't care.. i don't even drive one.. what did you say your name was?... oh gosh did i just ask a question inviting even more vomitous rhetoric.

- come one diarrhea mouth... I asked you how you were doing did that sound like i wanted to hear you tell me the story behind every single thing that you bought your girlfriend's kid for Christmas. so you waited in lines, that was months ago... hey bud, do you know what soliloquy is... this started out as a nice conversation but now i think i gone flatli............ beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........

i seem to be a little grumpy today..
better head back for one of those dale carnegie refreshers

don't be a stranger

so what time is it???

so i'm reading this blog and they mention how they couldn't sleep and post a list. after reading it this morning, i think to myself, hey i couldn't sleep last nite either (i was up well past three.) which gets me thinking about "the night" and how things seem to change. more specifically, how my thinking changes with the nite... up to this point i've made my living using my creativity during the day and i guess i've just now realized how much differently i think at nite. it's when i write almost all of my music.. it's a whole different world, it's mysterious... it's like there is a depth of passion and energy just around the corner waiting for me...
like..
looking at the stars on a crisp nite and think about the infinite
being at the beach listening to the water.. just listening and enjoying the phosphorescence of the waves and the feel of wet sand..
being in the woods hearing the deafening night sounds with your eyes straining to see.. something.. anything.. it's so big... but your box is so small.
going to a small city which empties during the night, thinking about what a contrast that is from the day..
or a large city where there is zest, gusto, fun and laughter to be had among countless people, countless lights...
being in my studio watching the cool lights in the meters jump up and down at my command and the sound of my music in my head...
and that special place after the storm there's a quiet spot in the night where you can trace the lines of your lovers body, feel her warmth, let her scent work it's magic..

the night... sometimes it's so thick that you can almost reach out and touch it.. grab it.. embrace it.

of course the night can suck too...

don’t be a stranger…

'bout fricken time....

ok. so i have some "Free" time on my hands and a friend who owns a butcher shop/deli asks me to go pick up some produce for him (my 2nd vehicle is a pick up truck) and i agree. off i go and nearly get back to the store without any mishap. then this song (by the bloodhound gang) comes on the radio and well.. i've always liked it.. hey its catchy (and if you've read here before and know the song you know why i identify with the song. ) you know the one... the roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, the roof, the roof, the roof, is on fire, we don't need no water let the mother (donkey sound effect here so the song can actually get air play) burn, burn mother (donkey sound again) burn. like i said.. it's catchy.. you gotta believe me on this one. so i get back to the store (i don't know why he calls it a store.. it's a butcher shop with an eat in deli,) and i'm singing the song as i'm walking in (the clean version of course and not really all that loudly anyway.) i suddenly notice the place has gone very quiet and i look up to see what's going on an lo and behold it looks like a state fire marshal convention in the place.. seems every fire marshal, deputy fire marshal and arson squad member from the state of Rhode Island is eating lunch in the place.. or rather was eating lunch until i came in singing that stupid song.. now they're all staring at me... what's up with that?

so for you wondering what i've been up to??? not much really but i've missed you.. really.
there is a new song.. lemme know what you think.

Can't you see

don't be a stranger
brian

the first law of karmic replacement dynamics

i'd been working on writing/recording this song for a few days now and i really thought that it had some very good promise. at around two last nite ( actually this morning) the file suddenly began acting in a weird manner... uh oh. can you say fore-shadowing of trouble. yep. if you are as smart as you look, you've already figured that the file has been corrupted and is beyond repair. i hope to be able to recreate most of it as all of the guitar parts seems to be ok. but... i do fear the first "law of karmic replacement dynamics" which states that the difficulty of equally replacing or recreating something decreases exponentially according to how good it actually was....

but you know what they say... law are meant to be broken.

don't be a stranger
brian

oh the things you see when you've forgotten that you do have a camera with you.

i've almost completed my near daily migration to work this morning.. one more side street to navigate... what's this? some guy on a bicycle decides to move from the side of the road to the middle of the road. he's peddling pretty slowly i have no choice but to follow him or run him over... i'm in a good mood so i opt for the former. so exactly why is this blog worthy you ask?... let me tell you.

first - he's taking his dog out for a walk/run/drag. the poor animal just wants to stop and take a leak but is mostly keeping up with him. he's holding the leash in one hand while he pedals about.
second - let me describe his outfit. it was chilly this morning, so he's wearing some thick gloves, a hooded sweatshirt with the hood up underneath his aerodymanically styled bike helmet.
(hello fashion police) over the hoodie is a heavier weight jacket. and he's wearing blue spandex pants. yes. that's right
third- he's over weight and cellulousified. ew.

so here i am doing under ten miles an hour following mr fancy pants... don't you already know that the road is bumpy. his glutius, which is quite maximus has done a good job of swallowing the bike seat upon which it is resting (i think there's a bike seat there,) is jiggling wildly like a piece of jello in an earthquake... right in front of my face... i find myself so caught up in laughing like a maniac, that i don't even bother to blow the horn to get him to more his fat axe so i can get to work.

all i can think is that i wish that i had a camera... it's only after coffee that i realize i did indeed have a camera... butt then again, on second thought, maybe pretty lucky for you that i had forgotten all about it.. because funny as it was... that's not really something anyone wants to see.

so where the lesson here?... good question.

don't be a stranger
brian

is there anything worse than hippies with guitars?

i found myself at this party, quite a nice one... fun, sort of low key but not too low, no roaring drunks, good food, good music, good conversation, a few hotties and darts... people are coming and going and there's plenty of room to mill about. there are all sorts of people even some uh... the best i can describe them as is hippies or maybe hippie wanna bees. you know the sort. sort of dirty, a little greasy, mostly unkempt, near rasta hair, red eyed and smelling of herbs. now this is fine and ok with me... hey everyone has their place.
so anyway, i'm milling about, talking, playing darts and generally having a pretty good time and decide that it's a little stuffy and that it might be time for some fresh air. i decide to head for the porch, a friend notices and warns me, don't go out there. i think to myself what could possibly be so bad out there and decide to ignore his warning. as i approach, a different sort of sound reaches my ears and it almost sounds like music...
but not quite....
needless to say i don't remain very long...
it's the hippie wanna bees...
they're out there...
they have guitars, they almost know how to use them...
(now don't get me wrong here.. i have nothing against guitar players... i own more guitars than i do wearable shoes... and i know how to use them)
but they are singing...
folk music....
wow...
as i head back in and notice someone else is heading out for some air.
hey man don't go out there...
why not?
hippies.... with guitars....
oh. thanks man, i'll go out the back...

don't be a stranger
brian

just say it.. for crying out loud.

with a bustle bustle here
and a bustle bustle there
here a bustle
there a bustle
everywhere a bustle bustle...
holy moly it's that time again
eeek yipe eeek yike oh..

as if our lives weren't busy or complicated enough.
not this year... don't do it.
why not enjoy and take the time to look around and appreciate.
why not look past the flagrant commercialism... tell the cynic in you to just let it go.
do you realy need to be that busy.. that stressed?
why not take the time to thank God for what He has given you..
just importantly why not take the time to tell people in your life what they mean to you or just simply thank them... out loud... with words.

hmm.. too serious?

don't be a stranger
brian

from hotties on the highway to...

the other morning early on in my pilgrimage to the temple of employment, i glance up and receive a pleasant surprise. my word... there is a beautiful woman in my back seat. oh wait my car doesn't have a back seat.... ok so she's in the car behind me.. but she is beautiful... perfect shade of red lipstick (it's the first thing i noticed) great eyes and hair.. in fact as we pass in and out of the sunlight her whole face goes from mysterious to radiant and back again. i haven't seen a woman this stunning in quite some time... and oh, i am having a good day as she's followed me onto the highway and is keeping pace with me (not many people do...) i am so enjoying this experience. we hit traffic and there is a mercedes in front of me and holy moly another beautiful woman... traffic slows to a snails pace. no matter... today, i don't care. not one bit. it's a little strange because i'm not usually one to tease myself with situations that i'm pretty sure have no future... but for some reason i am just truly enjoying the commute today. as traffic starts to move again i get the feeling that the old grease ball oriental looking guy in the car to my right (which is so dirty i'm wondering how he's seeing out of those unbelievably cloudy windows,) wants into the left lane. sure enough he makes an asinine banzai move cutting off miss radiant behind me... dang... well, ok. there is still miss mercedes 2004... but not for long because within a minute some guy who looks like he might be a religious follower of the pro wrestling circuit nearly takes the nose off of my car as he puts his dent ridden rust bucket pos van right in my path... i use a bunch of brake and the horn to voice my displeasure at having gone from being surrounded by beautiful women to being turned into the meat in a fugly sandwich... stuck between mr. hoo flung poo and haystack callhooligan. well... it was nice while it lasted. there you have it.. from hotties on the highway to becoming the meat in a fugly sandwich... i've followed my own advice and have decided to just be thankful and enjoy the moment. you know, i still haven't forgotten miss radiant's face, come to think of it it is one the just might inspire a song.. i think i might get to work on that.

dont be a stranger
brian

waiting for something exciting to happen...

so, what are you doing?
I went to see "the incredibles" yesterday and it actually inspired a few thoughts to pop into my brian... mr incredible steps out of his car and in a sort of fit of frustration picks up a car into the air and this little kid in the audience hollers (in a cute little kid voice) "WOW! he's really strong!" it was good for a laugh and a thought of how amazing the innocent wonder of a child can be and how easy it is to loose that... the wonder of a new discovery, a moment, a song, a sunset, a special someone, the butterflies of being in love... lesson one.
ok so, back to the movie. as the car is in the air, mr incredible notices a kid on a trike watching him. so he puts the car down. the next time he comes home the little kid is there watching him. mr incredible asks, "what are you doing?" and the kid says.. "waiting for something exciting to happen." well that sort of stopped me. isn't that where i am... waiting for something wondrous and exciting to happen? why can't i take more time to appreciate the things around me? the things that God has put on my path to enjoy? Him, my daughter, friends, a moment, a laugh, a song... instead i find myself almost selfishly hoarding my moments in an attempt to save them for the "next big thing." foolishness, i tell you. oh i'm sure something big will happen sooner or later, hopefully it's a good thing, and now i'll try to remind myself not to miss too much along the way.
so, what did you say you were doing?

don't be a stranger
brian

hmm..

my daughter says she has a stomach ache and wants to stay home from church...
she's been in and out of the bathroom all morning.. either she's doing a good job of faking or well.. it's legit. i guess i'll buy it.

dont be a stranger
brian

eyes, smiles and rings... dang

i hear "they" say that the supermarket is a good place to meet women... for the purposes of this entry, i'll not hypothesize about who "they" are as we've all been there before and besides i'm sure my friend jay can probably scientifically prove that "nobody" knows anyway.
so... i don't know anyone who's had any degree of success at the grocery store... i know i certainly have not. now don't get me wrong there have been instances of flirting but.. eh.. it usually goes something like this:
a. ooh she's attractive and looks like she might be fun to get to know.
b. a casual look to the cart or basket reveals that it is not overloaded with "family" type groceries.. a good sign.
b. hey, she noticed me and has given a little eye contact and a smile.. the flirt-o-meter starts chiming.
c. i smile back... hey, if an attractive woman smiles at you.. you best be smiling back... well, if you're single and available (which i am)
d. now for the part that always kills me.. a quick glance to her left hand.
e. so far.. it never fails... i see rings...
f. smile again and keep going... dang...

well, time to do a little grocery shopping, wish me luck...

don't be a stranger
brian


ultra cool artist... i actually have one of his awesome prints

more fingers than teeth

punkin chunkin woo-eee...
now let me tell you that i had the pleasure of attending this event and it was quite a blast... literally. who in the heck would've thought that over 40,000 people (me included) would go to see... um... i'm not sure if this is the right word.. "people" launch/fire/shoot a 10 lb pumpkin anywhere from about 50 feet to almost a mile... holy crap! and i drove over 7 hours to do so. it all started quite innocently with me telling a friend of my most recent girl woes and ended with her inviting me to "punkin chunkin." there are really no words to describe this place... it's backwoods farm country delaware and an unbelievable mix of people; sandal wearing vegans, yuppies, engineering geeks, bubba in his overalls, mulleted child molester moustache bearers, beer guzzling fat chicks with 7 kids hangin on, under aged drunken hotties showing what they got, the crisply dressed butch megalomaniac southern policewoman who prolly did goebbles one better, the inbred redneck with more fingers than teeth and me.... again holy crap... who'd a thunk it. as for the machines... well.. the cannons and and the machines are indeed impressive with the amount of engineering that it takes to propel a pumpkin from about 50 feet to well over 3/4 of a mile with stored energy. in my book it was the adventuresome that were the stars of the show.. from the bicycle powered swinging arm with that launched a 20 or so pound pumpkin straight into the crowd (no injuries.. everyone saw it coming and had enough room to run) to the trebuchet that flung a pumpkin about 300 feet straight up into the air only to smash into the machine next to it. wham!!... hehe.
now let me 'splain something... i've been to county fairs but this was WAY over the top... another friend from a town called scratch ankle in alabama (no i'm not making this up) insists that i take his video camera (i don't own one) to capture this event... so here i am i'm walking around this gathering of pumpkin launching enthusiasts like a true nerd with camera, bags and a video camera strung from my neck... strung like he rockkafella place christmas tree and i am so caught up in this extravaganza that i shoot about 15 minutes of video and i take only one fricken picture. impressive eh? maybe i'll even post it. ok so i didn't actually take the photo of that "woman" with more fingers than teeth.. but she was really there.. i just thought that she'd kick my axe if she caught me taking her picture.....

don't be a stranger
brian

btw thanx cedia for the inspiration of a mystery idea

mystery link in honor of cedia

went AWAY for the weekend...

look for the new post soon.. maybe tonite
here's the teaser..
can you say
punkin chunkin??
heh

don't be a stranger
brian

ooh.. sparkly...

started to write a post last nite....
someone waved something shiny in front of me (a phone call,) chatted with an AIM buddy and then it was time for music practice.. another phone call and .. oh i needed sleeeeeep. so i'm still alive.. and maybe that post wasn't that good anyway. consider yourself lucky..

don't be a stranger
brian

ying yang and need a name

my daughter and i were out for a little trick or treat action and of course we came across all sorts of people; nice, nasty, pushy, those in need of ca-andy and those filling that need... but the best thing we saw was this little kid, he was tiny, couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 and he's dressed all in black including shoes and hood except for this truly gruesome green mask... now the good part is that he's skipping alongside of his father singing some unintelligible happy little kid song in his cutest little voice...

Oh man... this kid's really got something here... he apparently has all of his crap together. much more so than i... i stop dead in my tracks thinking to myself that he's indeed a master. he's got the whole ying yang thing all worked out... perfect balance... i ought to take lessons. wonder what he charges?

speaking of singing... i've done some more work on that song. please give it a listen and let me know what you think.
also, i'm trolling for names for it.. how about a suggestion or two?

download song here

don't be a stranger
brian

c.) all of the above -or- this old blog

well, i have not been doing this blog thing for that long but i'm finding it's done me some good.
1. i get to either vent, make a statement, have a little fun or maybe c. - all of the above, as the mood strikes me.
2. in doing the above i get to organize my thoughts and hopefully somehow enhance the lives of others.... i like that
3. speaking of others.. this is where it gets weird because i, like many others (i'm guessing,) have formed a gang of aquantences or maybe friends even. how does this happen.. i know these people mostly by swapping text.. to me, a hands on kinda guy, if find that odd. heck some of them i don't even know what they look like. well. they don't know what i look like either.. that clown in the corner is not me.. it's buster my main man. so who are some of these people?
howard who is a gem of a man both wise and creative. i love him
bryan - honest, goofy, creative, genuine, serious and wants to be in love... we could be kindred.. time will tell
cedia - the hot yet married boot wearing eastern babe with a great sense of humor.. i'll have you know that's 4 for 5 in things that i really like in a woman... got any sisters?
aaron and amber - two seperate souls struggling to serve God despite their own short comings, both closer and wiser than they might think.
eleses - i read his writing and can't help but think that we share much... i almost feel sorry for him.. lol
monkey - this guy keeps a very interesting and diverse blog... is that how his brain works?

there are of course others but these are the people who i've made connections with.. thanks guys.

don't be a stranger
brian

over simplification

enjoy thursday... it's the day before friday.
not a day like wednesday which changes its mind about being in the front or back half of the week depending which is to its advantage when everyone knows it's still of the left hand side of the week.
this message was paid for by the day after wednesday society
hi, i'm thursday and i approve of this message...

it's almost nonsense
isn't one day like the rest in so many different ways
over simplification? maybe... maybe not.
don't be a stranger
brian

pumpkins and tigers and dinettes... oh my

so i decide to go to the "pumpkin spectacular" at the zoo... it's advertised as having over 5000 jack o lanterns, anyway, some friends went last year and said it was great... i figure what the heck.. how bad can it be? well, first before i really get started, it was ok. i mean i enjoyed the company i was with and some of the pumpkins and the displays were impressive... but... it cost $12 a person to get in to wait in a line that was nearly a mile long and an hours worth of wait. plus a local furniture superstore had a big screen tv playing what amounted to commercials (cleverly disguised as shorts about pumpkin carving and stuff.) it was positioned so that it was nearly impossible to avoid. ok, so that's a little scary..
finally we get into the display area and the pumpkins are arranged by theme.. and apparently the overall theme of this years display is not who can carve the scariest or funniest pumpkin but cultural diversity (ok so that's a little scary too)... there's a sections of carved pumpkins for among others, italy, germany (how nice to see you mr beethoven,) france (yes there's a carving of the eiffel tower.. how nice,) britian (the obligatory princess Diana pumpkin... now we're really starting to talk scary...) the egypt section (oh yes there are the pyramids and ol king tut hisself.. just grand isn't it) and yes there's even a grecian section.. complete with the greek flag pumpkin..(i can hear it now... ok dear what shall we carve into our pumpkin this year?.. a scary or funny face??? naahh.. too typical and besides that satan thing's been done... i know, how about the greek flag??? that should really scare the poop out the kids this year... what do you think?) i must note here that i am not "for" anything satanic, quite the contrary, but i don't think that scary pumpkins are gernerally harmful to anyone.
the grand finale is the american section complete with bald eage, soldier stationed in iraq, abe lincoln and you guessed it john kerry... AAAHHHHHHH! where's bush?.. oh yeah this is rhode island.. the liberalest state in the union...
but prior to that monstrosity is the animal section... oh there's a penguin, an owl, oh look there's mr elephant right next to the gorilla. and well i'll be.. what are all of those people crowding around over there.. oh! it's a pumpkin with an image of the same tiger that is on one of those rug like wall hangings that someone of lesser taste might buy at say.. k-mart.. and these people (who undoubtedly own and proudly display said wall hanging over the head board of their beds) and they are all taking photos of it... now that's really some scary crap... so where's the lesson here.. seriously... there but for the grace of God go i... and that pertains to a lot more than just having bad taste...

dont be a stranger
brian

a song sketch

just something i've been working on and still am...
give it a listen and comment if you want..
it's 3.9 meg in size

download rock song

if anyone knows how to EMBED mp3 files here or another way to get them to play.. i'd be glad to know

dont be a stranger
brian

frankenstein vs my little pony or when not to laugh

i 'm helping out a friend who owns a butcher/deli shop cut and wait on customers as i do on occasion. (he doesn't usually pay me but i do usually get some great steaks and stuff.) so anyway, the place is mobbed with people and i'm working at the cutting table trying to get a special order done before the guy comes in and one of the kitchen guys (skippy, who is a very nice guy but has some rough edges to him) has been drafted to help with customers. the guy upon whom he is waiting, a regular and has unbeknownst to him and me, has tourettes syndrome (not the swearing kind but the sometimes i can't control my actions kind.)
here's what happened
skippy - asks him what he wants
the guy - points to some sirloin steaks and mumbles something.
skippy - sirloin strips? how many
the guy - points to the steaks again and makes a frankenstein kinda noise (mmmmmmph)
me - at this point this event has really caught my attention and i'm being careful not to slice into any brian flesh
skippy - how many?
the guy - another frankenstein noise followed by a whinny noise and a head shake and horse blow sort of noise.
me - i am stunned. i've not witnessed this... ever. i know it would be wrong to laugh (out loud) so i don't. i try desperately to concentrate on what i am doing.
the guy- more frankenstein and horse noises now with added foot stamping
skippy - makes eye contact with me with a bewildered expression on his face
me - i try to make a subtle "i don't know what's happening here but i'm glad that you're waiting on him" type face back at skippy and pretend to go back to cutting
skippy - asks the guy "do you want to pick them out?"
the guy - points to the steaks whinnies and stomps his foot four times...
skippy - ever quick to react says... "four?"
they guy - whinnies and blows
skippy hands the guy his four steaks and pretending nothing out of the ordinary has happened moves to the next customer who is equally stunned.
me - i continue cutting, and sort of put everything into remission as i finish up the order.

some ten minutes later i walk back to the kitchen to see if i can get some lunch... skippy looks at me with the same face and it all comes back... seeing that i found that one of the funniest things that i have ever actually witnessed, i find myself doubled over laughing uncontrollably with my sides hurting and tears streaming from my eyes. now understand that i do not think that i am a mean person and i was not laughing at the guy or his condition but the circumstance itself, which was funny.... i think if it were me in the guy's place, i'm not sure but i might not mind too much if people found me funny as long as they weren't mean or hateful about it. i myself think that it is a gift to be able to make people laugh but i could see how the guy might think otherwise. thoughts?

dont be a stranger
brian

my life at 143

during this past summer i'm on my my to a friends. it's a little later in the evening, i'm on the highway with an open road in front of me and some guy in another sports car along side of me who obviously wants to race me. now for some reason (believe me this is not anywhere near regular occurrence as i usually keep racing activities restricted to the track) i decide to take off. ok ok i already suspect that unless he's done more mods than the ones i can see, i pretty much already know the outcome. before i know it i'm coming up on the next group of cars at 143 (digital readout)... he of course is behind me and is obviously not capable of passing me. we both slow and he comes along side, gives me props and drives on. that felt great but what the heck was i doing? it was indeed quite exhilarating... the thrill of competition and speed, an increased heart rate, an arousal to another level of consciousness, a quickening of focus, a chemical reaction; of adrenalin, testosterone and whatever, a taste of forbidden fruit along with an awareness of minimal danger to me or any innocent parties gives me what? a need for more? another taste? am i talking about my car anymore? nope...
One could say that i've been very fortunate in my life, i've driven a race car, had people pay to come watch me perform music on stage, won several toy of the year awards (yes professionally i am a toy designer,) the "company" of a particularly extra ordinary woman (maybe again that's what this is really about)... but where really has that gotten me? exactly. it just occurred to me that it sounds like i'm bragging, i could have just said that i've had several accomplishments that people might envy, i could've used other things that do indeed value, i am a christian, i have an awesome relationship with my young daughter (but not her mother heh,) some really good friends and a very cool cat (if you've "met" her you know this to be true.) i didn't, i choose things that fed my head not my heart (which illustrates my point even better than what i had planned...) am i doing ok? how close to balance in my life am i? am i as much an "addict" as some blog friends claim to be? is there a car crash coming... i hope not. please Lord protect me from myself.

dont be a stranger
brian

damn...

why did you have to write that post bryan???? i was doing fine, just going along here trying to work things out... trying to get over her... i thought i was there... i just told myself today "that door is closed" and i almost believed it. until your post. hey, i'm not trying to make you feel sad or responsible... you shouldn't be and you're not. i'm only venting what's inside me... this is about me. . so why aren't we together??.... i'm not who she's looking for??... why is the physical so good? why do we enjoy each other's company so? why can't we go for too long without being together? why? why? why????... crap...

but then again maybe this is a product of the wine.. i hope so, because it will all be better tomorrow.. or the next day. God help me.

dont be a stranger
brian

i'm not proud of this

but.. i went to BK for lunch today (it wasn't my choice) and so i'm half joking with a friend...
"i'll have a whopper jr meal please
"would you like to super size that?"
we get a small chuckle out of that...
then i finally earn my spot at the hallowed point of order and yes i'd like a number 3 (whopper jr value meal) and what do you suppose happens??? you guessed it...
"would you like cheese on that?"
"no thank you (i'm not really believing that it's actual cheese anyway)"
"would you like that regular, large, or supersize?"
"um.. regular please" (I know that your only trying to appease the king by selling more stuff but hey... it's a whopper JR... i'm trying to minimize the crap that i'm going to ingest. oh wait.. maybe i'd just love a refillable gallon sized cup of soda and a pick up truck load of french fried potatoey sort of things. at least i think they have some sort of potato-ness about them... i'm a cynic remember?) now i'm not trying to say that i don't enjoy BK once in a while. but isn't that sort of an insult to my intelligence. sort of?? did i say sort of?do i look like one of those people who go back for a refill on their diet soda... hmmmm.
"for here or to go?"
oh definitely for here... i want to do some people watching...

On another more serious front... sometimes it's easier to see the foolishness of others... even society in general... but it's not so easy to see how you yourself may have been foolish or unwise about something... heck.. especially if you are "comfortable." it either takes some unbiased self examination, the counsel of someone you trust or perhaps both. i always thought that i was pretty smart and a step above the norm and pretty much incapable of fooling myself... the farther i get the more foolish i see that to be.... so who's up for some people watching???

don't be a stranger
brian

learning new kung foo moves

you've seen these automatic paper towel dispensers right? man are these things the scourge of the earth? you either wave your dripping wet hands in front of this one eyed design element device that dispenses a premeasured amount (which is not nearly enough) of paper towel for you to dry with. but wait, if you don't want to do the dripping hand wave, you can either flap your elbows at it like some kind of water fowl or invent some type of a kung fu like dance to activate the sensor. AND... if you actually want to get a sufficient amount of drying material... well, you'll have to go through a slightly more involved process of waiting for the dispensational cycle to end, pulling on the towel and only then do you get to repeat the whole wave (or martial arts dance) maneuver. who's bright idea was this? and just what are these things supposed to prove? are they supposed to save someone money, make someone money, or just show that the particular establishment is technically savy? hey did you see our new paper towel dispensers... they match our new g5s. i know there has to be some kind of learning to be had here... can someone please help me see it???

it's ok to be strange just...
dont be a stranger
brian

where is the joy in being a cynic?

i used to think that being a cynic was indeed a blessing. see, you have the ability to question things and if you are smart... you question things and then look for an answer. it can lead you to be able to problem solve and to see through things that aren't right. it can help you to be an individual... a "pepper" if you will (for those who remember the old dr pepper ads.) but a cynic can question everything. and that can promptly lead to over thinking everything... i wonder what the root of this is? human pride... the need to be able to know what is true (i mean being correct not the absolute of Truth,) because sometimes the knowledge just isn't there to be had or understood and other people actually can be right sometimes. questioning everything and not knowing everything can make you appear critical and look like a jerk.. did i say "appear" and "look like"? maybe i meant "be." how does God figure into my being a cynic? did he create me this way or is it a fault? is it something i imposed on myself, part of my broken human condition? i don't know why there are so many questions without answers... i think He did create me with the ability or desire to question things, search for truth and to problem solve, but maybe i've overstepped the boundary and once again and achieved imbalance in yet another area of my life... OK here's the premise i'm going to operate under; questioning things and searching for the truth in things isn't bad if you are searching for truth, not just for the sake of either being right or being seen as smart enough to intelligently challenge a statement or thing. you know, the more i think about this the more i see how cleverly we can disguise and hide our pride from ourselves.. that can't be a good thing. So, again I only see one way.. Onward.

dont be a stranger
brian

everyone needs friends

well, it's true. friends can be a quite a blessing in times of pain, times of joy and everything in between. i'm talking about true friends here. those that accept you for you are, faults and all with few or no conditions. i find myself fortunate and blessed to have a few friends like that... thank you Lord.

but what happens when you are a guy and you have a close friend that... well is not? is there always going to be an implied or impending "desire" for physical contact and more than friendship the closer the relationship gets? yes, i said relationship... that is what a friendship is you know. of course i am speaking in general terms (or am i?) my own personal experience aside, i'm going to assume that every situation and person is different and i'm even going to assume that there may be some people that can actually handle a purely platonic close friendship with a member of the "opposite" sex without wanting them (even a little, because doesn't that have the potential to spoil everything?) i wonder...


don't be a stranger
brian