everyone needs friends
well, it's true. friends can be a quite a blessing in times of pain, times of joy and everything in between. i'm talking about true friends here. those that accept you for you are, faults and all with few or no conditions. i find myself fortunate and blessed to have a few friends like that... thank you Lord.
but what happens when you are a guy and you have a close friend that... well is not? is there always going to be an implied or impending "desire" for physical contact and more than friendship the closer the relationship gets? yes, i said relationship... that is what a friendship is you know. of course i am speaking in general terms (or am i?) my own personal experience aside, i'm going to assume that every situation and person is different and i'm even going to assume that there may be some people that can actually handle a purely platonic close friendship with a member of the "opposite" sex without wanting them (even a little, because doesn't that have the potential to spoil everything?) i wonder...
don't be a stranger
brian
but what happens when you are a guy and you have a close friend that... well is not? is there always going to be an implied or impending "desire" for physical contact and more than friendship the closer the relationship gets? yes, i said relationship... that is what a friendship is you know. of course i am speaking in general terms (or am i?) my own personal experience aside, i'm going to assume that every situation and person is different and i'm even going to assume that there may be some people that can actually handle a purely platonic close friendship with a member of the "opposite" sex without wanting them (even a little, because doesn't that have the potential to spoil everything?) i wonder...
don't be a stranger
brian
posted by babydufus at 7:38 PM
5 Comments:
I am a guy and I have several friends "who are not". I have mixed emotions on this issue as well. Though I am thoroughly blessed and encouraged by them I realize I have to examine my motives. Beyond a "sexual" thang for me it is a dependancy thing, i.e. Do I call her after something exciting happens or when something bad happens or do I talk to my heavenly Father first. I Truly believe it is a balance thing. If we really love these "friends" we will seek deeper relationships with our Creator so that we can know how to Love them unselfishly. Put more weight on the scales that lean more towards Christ, and naturally our friends will be lifted up...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
yeah... balance. i've always know that it is needed. i've even learned more of it in a philosophical way after some extended trips to china. but the older i get the more i find that it can be a lot tougher to find than not, especially as it oft times involves compromise or a personal decision. For you i might suggest going to the Father first, isn't that where your true joy should lie (look at me talking like a true hypocrite) then go share it with your friend if you still want to. after all shouldn't you really be who you are without pretense in a friendship or relationship? that's not to say that compromise or balance isn't needed in a relationship with another human, just that you need to be yourself.
don't be a stranger
brian
I have found (speaking from personal experience) that "guy" friends, for many girls, become a crutch. See, when a girl has a great guy-friend that gives her personal attention, moderate physical contact (ie hugs), understanding, and trust, she often finds herself wrapped up in a deeply emotional relationship that she can be fully dependent on. She has no need to seek God first, no drive to brach out and meet new people, and no desire to better herself because she feels complete acceptance from this other person. It's a lot harder then most people think, to be a "just friends" and even harder to be "best friends". It's something I struggle with daily. I spent ALL of my high school years and the last 3 years of college surrounded by males, thinking that it was because I related to men better then women when in reality it was a matter of dependence. I wanted attention, and hated to be without a significant other and being the only girl in a group of guys gave the feeling of that. I have in the last 6 months began to build relationships with women. It's difficult but possible to have true friendships with the opposite sex, but both parties have to be in a place in there life where the friendship is not a dependency tool.
I'm female and at the moment, my very closest friend is male. Do I find him attractive. Well...YES. I'd venture to guess he feels likewise. But we're still FRIENDS. Women need male friends in certain circumstances. Sometimes we need a perspective only a GUY friend can provide. Sometimes the friendship is more important than the physical attraction.
Post a Comment
<< Home