where is the joy in being a cynic?

i used to think that being a cynic was indeed a blessing. see, you have the ability to question things and if you are smart... you question things and then look for an answer. it can lead you to be able to problem solve and to see through things that aren't right. it can help you to be an individual... a "pepper" if you will (for those who remember the old dr pepper ads.) but a cynic can question everything. and that can promptly lead to over thinking everything... i wonder what the root of this is? human pride... the need to be able to know what is true (i mean being correct not the absolute of Truth,) because sometimes the knowledge just isn't there to be had or understood and other people actually can be right sometimes. questioning everything and not knowing everything can make you appear critical and look like a jerk.. did i say "appear" and "look like"? maybe i meant "be." how does God figure into my being a cynic? did he create me this way or is it a fault? is it something i imposed on myself, part of my broken human condition? i don't know why there are so many questions without answers... i think He did create me with the ability or desire to question things, search for truth and to problem solve, but maybe i've overstepped the boundary and once again and achieved imbalance in yet another area of my life... OK here's the premise i'm going to operate under; questioning things and searching for the truth in things isn't bad if you are searching for truth, not just for the sake of either being right or being seen as smart enough to intelligently challenge a statement or thing. you know, the more i think about this the more i see how cleverly we can disguise and hide our pride from ourselves.. that can't be a good thing. So, again I only see one way.. Onward.

dont be a stranger
brian